"Jesus Calling" By Sarah Young

Over the past few months the pain of infertility has creped it’s ugly head back into our lives. Please don’t misinterpret my feelings for being ungrateful for Jonah or what I have. Unless you have been denied the wonderful blessing of birthing a child from your body, you will never understand my conflicted feelings of gratitude for the adoption of my son and the heartache of wanting to birth a child.

As Jonah has morphed into this joyous, smart, funny little toddler, I have found myself longing to give him a sibling. It breaks my heart to see him play in the floor by himself. I often find my mind wondering off into thoughts of “How could God deny this sweet child the blessing of having a little brother or sister? Does God really want Jonah to be an only child; alone through out his childhood? Will he not have siblings around the table at Christmas time? What if his children have no cousins to play with because we were not successful in given him a sibling? Must he suffer for our failures of having more children? I am plagued with these thoughts daily.

Along with that, once again my arms ache to hold a precious newborn. But more than anything, my body aches to the depth of my soul to experience the life of a baby from start to finish. Lately I have been finding myself fighting anger and pain again, but this time I’m hoping I can handle it better. After struggling again for quit sometime I heard a devotional on Klove that spoke right to my heart. It was as if God Himself was speaking right through those airwaves directly to me. It was as if He called my name out over the radio for me to hear those precious life giving words. That devotional lasted probably about 2 mins. But it touched me in such a profound way that it yanked me right off the ledge of the dark pit of depression and set my feet onto a new firm foundation. Needless to say, I went out bought the book and have been hooked on it ever since. I don’t know what you all are going through, but I can guarantee you that no matter what situation your facing, God will speak right to you through the pages of this book. Even though my journey is painful and will still continue to be painful until the Lord blesses me or removes this desire from my heart, this book has given me exactly what I need to stay close to my Savior and continue to put one foot in front of the other for the remainder of this journey.

I hope you enjoy this book as much as I have.