A Laugh For The Day
This was totally me this last Monday and every cycle I have had between August 2005-December 2011 and possibly for many more cycles to come. At least today I can laugh at it. I hope you enjoy!
#645 Finding out you got your Period… Again
Step 1: Expect arrival of your period
Step 2: Check toilet paper hourly
Step 3: Feel slightly hopeful when your period is 30 minutes late
Step 4: Keep checking toilet paper hourly
Step 5: Light spotting
Step 6: Insert swear word
Step 7: Begin crying on the toilet
Step 8: Random thoughts include: “Is this really my period or is it implantation bleeding?”
Step 9: You still remain 1% hopeful but you just know it’s over
Step 10: Check toilet paper again
Step 11: Bleeding gets heavier. Infertile sobbing and runny nose begins
Step 12: You don’t have any tampons/pads because you refused to buy them last month. Run to store
Step 13: Another pair of underpants ruined
Step 14: More tears and increased moodiness begins. Husband/partner doesn’t understand why you’re crying on the toilet seat
Step 15: Call fertility clinic and sob into the phone… “Hi, it’s Infertile (insert your name). I’m calling on my Day One….”
Step 16: Screw you, Folic Acid pills. You are not taking any this week
Step 17: Buy a large decaf highly caffeinated coffee, chocolate and a bottle of wine. Enjoy
Repeat next month.
The Period. Punctuation for the end but also meaning a new beginning and starting fresh.
Copied from 999 Reasons To Laugh At Infertility
#645 Finding out you got your Period… Again
Step 1: Expect arrival of your period
Step 2: Check toilet paper hourly
Step 3: Feel slightly hopeful when your period is 30 minutes late
Step 4: Keep checking toilet paper hourly
Step 5: Light spotting
Step 6: Insert swear word
Step 7: Begin crying on the toilet
Step 8: Random thoughts include: “Is this really my period or is it implantation bleeding?”
Step 9: You still remain 1% hopeful but you just know it’s over
Step 10: Check toilet paper again
Step 11: Bleeding gets heavier. Infertile sobbing and runny nose begins
Step 12: You don’t have any tampons/pads because you refused to buy them last month. Run to store
Step 13: Another pair of underpants ruined
Step 14: More tears and increased moodiness begins. Husband/partner doesn’t understand why you’re crying on the toilet seat
Step 15: Call fertility clinic and sob into the phone… “Hi, it’s Infertile (insert your name). I’m calling on my Day One….”
Step 16: Screw you, Folic Acid pills. You are not taking any this week
Step 17: Buy a large decaf highly caffeinated coffee, chocolate and a bottle of wine. Enjoy
Repeat next month.
The Period. Punctuation for the end but also meaning a new beginning and starting fresh.
Copied from 999 Reasons To Laugh At Infertility
No comments:
Post a Comment