Strong Enough
http://youtu.be/LDX1y9mvahM
Since our disaster appt with the infertility doctor last week I have had this song "Strong Enough", by Stacy Orrico, stuck in my head. It's been such a fight with myself to not get angry with God and question why. I do not understand why He is continuing to allow us to go down this path. I thought that after our son's adoption that trying to add to our family would become a lot easier. I don't know what gave me this impression. I guess it was because I desperately wanted the fight to be over. After all, It's not supposed to be a struggle having kids. It's supposed to be a struggle raising them.
I don't talk much about Jonah's adoption because we're still in the process and some aspects of it need to remain private. This has been a very difficult adoption to say the least. It has tried our patience and brought us much insecurities. There have been many points in time where we just didn't know if it was all going to work out. We have dealt with a crazy lawyer who just about sabotaged our adoption to a party involved that still has not signed necessary paper work. This adoption should have been done last summer if things had been done correctly.
My hubby and I have been burdened with the stress from this adoption, building our house, infertility, grief, loss, anger, confusion, and so much more. At what point is it enough? How much more can we take? These issues are a constant daily battle for us. The other day we were in the car on our way to take Jonah to the park for a family day. We constantly have KLove playing in our car and on that day they were talking about how when we don't have enough strength to go on, that God will fill us with the strength that we need to keep going. They also continued to talk about that God chooses us for these certain tribulations because He feels we are strong enough to handle them. You know, we serve an AWESOME GOD! He spoke to me just at the perfect time to give me what I needed. When I heard those words, I thought, God must think I'm like super hero or something to be able to go through all of this. It's amazing that even when I doubt, even when I fail at having faith, He still chooses me for this journey and continues to mold me for His plan for my life. Yes, it still hurts, but God is here with me every step of the way.
I don't know where this journey is going to continue to lead us or if it's going to have a happy ending. There may be more heartache, more complications, but I can take rest in knowing that no matter how hard it gets, God will always be there to refresh my soul and renew me with strength to continue on.
I still don't know where God is leading us at this point. For now we are continuing to be still and listen. Just continue to keep us in prayer.
"And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me. Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in necessities, in persecutions, in distresses for Christ's sake: for when I am weak, then am I strong." 2 Corinthians 12:9-10
Since our disaster appt with the infertility doctor last week I have had this song "Strong Enough", by Stacy Orrico, stuck in my head. It's been such a fight with myself to not get angry with God and question why. I do not understand why He is continuing to allow us to go down this path. I thought that after our son's adoption that trying to add to our family would become a lot easier. I don't know what gave me this impression. I guess it was because I desperately wanted the fight to be over. After all, It's not supposed to be a struggle having kids. It's supposed to be a struggle raising them.
I don't talk much about Jonah's adoption because we're still in the process and some aspects of it need to remain private. This has been a very difficult adoption to say the least. It has tried our patience and brought us much insecurities. There have been many points in time where we just didn't know if it was all going to work out. We have dealt with a crazy lawyer who just about sabotaged our adoption to a party involved that still has not signed necessary paper work. This adoption should have been done last summer if things had been done correctly.
My hubby and I have been burdened with the stress from this adoption, building our house, infertility, grief, loss, anger, confusion, and so much more. At what point is it enough? How much more can we take? These issues are a constant daily battle for us. The other day we were in the car on our way to take Jonah to the park for a family day. We constantly have KLove playing in our car and on that day they were talking about how when we don't have enough strength to go on, that God will fill us with the strength that we need to keep going. They also continued to talk about that God chooses us for these certain tribulations because He feels we are strong enough to handle them. You know, we serve an AWESOME GOD! He spoke to me just at the perfect time to give me what I needed. When I heard those words, I thought, God must think I'm like super hero or something to be able to go through all of this. It's amazing that even when I doubt, even when I fail at having faith, He still chooses me for this journey and continues to mold me for His plan for my life. Yes, it still hurts, but God is here with me every step of the way.
I don't know where this journey is going to continue to lead us or if it's going to have a happy ending. There may be more heartache, more complications, but I can take rest in knowing that no matter how hard it gets, God will always be there to refresh my soul and renew me with strength to continue on.
I still don't know where God is leading us at this point. For now we are continuing to be still and listen. Just continue to keep us in prayer.
"And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me. Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in necessities, in persecutions, in distresses for Christ's sake: for when I am weak, then am I strong." 2 Corinthians 12:9-10
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