Celebrate The Desire Of Motherhood!
Life has been flying by rather quickly here in our house over the last few months. It's been a while since I have blogged. Keeping up after a 3 year old, 5 month old, and a husband is rather exhausting work. But I must say that there is nothing on this earth I would rather be doing. For the first time in my life since infertility reared it's ugly head, I feel fulfilled and complete. I wake up every morning loving my life and thanking God endlessly for these two precious gifts He has given me. My soul is at peace and I am at peace with God. Life at times will still throw challenges my way, but with my husband by my side and my two little blessings grasping my hands tightly, it's like riding off into a sunset at the end of a fairytale.
With Mother's Day approaching I have felt burdened to write on infertility. I try not to think about it too much anymore because I don't want those wounds to bubble to the surface again. Even with having two children it is still a very painful subject for my husband and I. It is something that will forever be apart of our lives. As I reflect on Mother's Days I have had in the past prior to kids, I remember every heart ache and tear spilled. I remember the endless prayers on my knees of begging God for a child. Feeling empty, forgotten, alone, and rejected when He was silent. I wish I could go back and tell myself then that God never left me in the pit of infertility. That He was preparing a future for me that would be far better than anything I had ever hoped it would be. I wish I could tell myself just to hang on a little longer. That God was moving Heaven and earth to bless me with my hearts desire in just a short time. But then, if I could go back and tell myself these things, I never would have been molded into who I am today. God changed my life in those dark times. He made me stronger, more compassionate, more appreciative, and more receptive to those hurting around me. My infertility journey was and is still bigger than just my hearts desire. It was God's big plan to break me in order to be a mother of the fatherless and to help others like me.
I know first hand the Mother's Day is a painful day to those that have lost children, are waiting for children, and to those who have given up on having children. Even though I get to celebrate Motherhood this Sunday with babies in my arms, it is also a reminder to me of my children that are waiting for me in Heaven. It's still a reminder of the pain infertility brings on this day. This day I will celebrate the change God made in me through my pain. I will celebrate the brokenness He allowed me to experience and the triumph that we made over infertility. Those of you who are still waiting, those that are still on this journey of uncertainty and pain, you are still a mother. God has given you this desire of Motherhood. Celebrate it! Celebrate your desire and dreams of having children. Celebrate being a Mother of your babies that have gone before you. Celebrate that God is God and that He is in control of this journey. Thank the Lord for carrying you through this and for the future blessings that He will bring out of the pits of infertility.
Here is a poem I found on another infertility blog I follow.....
I have longed and waited.
I will notice everything about my child.
I will be happy when I wake in the middle of the night to the sound of my child, knowing that I can comfort, hold, and feed him and that I am not waking to take another temperature, pop another pill, take another shot or cry tears of a broken dream.
I have prevailed.
So now, when others hurt around me, I do not run from their pain in order to save myself discomfort. I see it, mourn it, and join them in theirs.
With Mother's Day approaching I have felt burdened to write on infertility. I try not to think about it too much anymore because I don't want those wounds to bubble to the surface again. Even with having two children it is still a very painful subject for my husband and I. It is something that will forever be apart of our lives. As I reflect on Mother's Days I have had in the past prior to kids, I remember every heart ache and tear spilled. I remember the endless prayers on my knees of begging God for a child. Feeling empty, forgotten, alone, and rejected when He was silent. I wish I could go back and tell myself then that God never left me in the pit of infertility. That He was preparing a future for me that would be far better than anything I had ever hoped it would be. I wish I could tell myself just to hang on a little longer. That God was moving Heaven and earth to bless me with my hearts desire in just a short time. But then, if I could go back and tell myself these things, I never would have been molded into who I am today. God changed my life in those dark times. He made me stronger, more compassionate, more appreciative, and more receptive to those hurting around me. My infertility journey was and is still bigger than just my hearts desire. It was God's big plan to break me in order to be a mother of the fatherless and to help others like me.
I know first hand the Mother's Day is a painful day to those that have lost children, are waiting for children, and to those who have given up on having children. Even though I get to celebrate Motherhood this Sunday with babies in my arms, it is also a reminder to me of my children that are waiting for me in Heaven. It's still a reminder of the pain infertility brings on this day. This day I will celebrate the change God made in me through my pain. I will celebrate the brokenness He allowed me to experience and the triumph that we made over infertility. Those of you who are still waiting, those that are still on this journey of uncertainty and pain, you are still a mother. God has given you this desire of Motherhood. Celebrate it! Celebrate your desire and dreams of having children. Celebrate being a Mother of your babies that have gone before you. Celebrate that God is God and that He is in control of this journey. Thank the Lord for carrying you through this and for the future blessings that He will bring out of the pits of infertility.
Here is a poem I found on another infertility blog I follow.....
No comments:
Post a Comment