Another Day Another Cycle
I will be so thrilled when my life is no longer measured in cycles! I'm always having to survive that 33 days! I'm tired of the counting, the symptom checks, the negative pregnancy test, and so on. This last cycle we took a brake. I just needed to clear my mind and breath. I was starting to feel suffocated by infertility. I must say that that break was refreshing! It was nice to not constantly think I was possibly feeling symptoms with the big let down when the dreaded day came. I still don't know why nothing is happening since we were told back in September that we were miraculously healed. I'm trying really hard not to question God too much about it. I know He has his perfect timing and He has a reason for everything. As you can tell, even though I am not pregnant at this time, this is a strong day for me. I pray that everyday is a strong day until the Lord blesses me. Josh and I had some testing done last week just to make sure that things are still working as they should be. We'll get the results back, hopefully, by Friday. Please keep us in your prayers.
Josh and I have now decided that we will be taking a break every other month until God blesses us with our hearts desire. I just don't want our lives to become consumed with infertility again. I keep telling myself I am still young. I have time and taking a break every now and then is healthy. As I see Jonah growing so fast everyday I feel such a pressing need to give him a sibling. He just LOVES other kids. I pray that God will not allow him to grow up with out a brother or sister.
In the beginning of our journey I used to often think "Why me?" Now that I have experienced a miracle straight from heaven (Jonah), I now understand "Why me". God specifically designed and picked Josh and I for this journey. It took me a long time to come to this realization and accept it. Now that I have seen his hand work in our infertility and now that I have seen the Lord deliver Jonah into our lives, I am so thankful for this path He has chosen us for. Even though I still desire to birth a child, I am open to what God has for my life. Over these last 5 barren cycles, the Lord has laid the burning desire on both Josh and I's hearts to adopt again. Over the last few months we faced some really challenging circumstances with the adoption on top of my tough times with the infertility. In the midst of that Josh and I told each other we would not adopt again. We didn't want to deal with the drama that came with adoption, but now after the Lord getting a hold of us once again, we feel that again adoption is in His plan for our lives. We are considering various options right now. We do not want to go the route that we went this last time, but we will go whatever route the Lord wants us to even if it's a route we don't want to go down. Please keep us in your prayers as we seek out God's will in this and please pray that the Lord will fill me with so much hope and strength that I will not have any bad days from now until I deliver and adopt a child.
Josh and I have now decided that we will be taking a break every other month until God blesses us with our hearts desire. I just don't want our lives to become consumed with infertility again. I keep telling myself I am still young. I have time and taking a break every now and then is healthy. As I see Jonah growing so fast everyday I feel such a pressing need to give him a sibling. He just LOVES other kids. I pray that God will not allow him to grow up with out a brother or sister.
In the beginning of our journey I used to often think "Why me?" Now that I have experienced a miracle straight from heaven (Jonah), I now understand "Why me". God specifically designed and picked Josh and I for this journey. It took me a long time to come to this realization and accept it. Now that I have seen his hand work in our infertility and now that I have seen the Lord deliver Jonah into our lives, I am so thankful for this path He has chosen us for. Even though I still desire to birth a child, I am open to what God has for my life. Over these last 5 barren cycles, the Lord has laid the burning desire on both Josh and I's hearts to adopt again. Over the last few months we faced some really challenging circumstances with the adoption on top of my tough times with the infertility. In the midst of that Josh and I told each other we would not adopt again. We didn't want to deal with the drama that came with adoption, but now after the Lord getting a hold of us once again, we feel that again adoption is in His plan for our lives. We are considering various options right now. We do not want to go the route that we went this last time, but we will go whatever route the Lord wants us to even if it's a route we don't want to go down. Please keep us in your prayers as we seek out God's will in this and please pray that the Lord will fill me with so much hope and strength that I will not have any bad days from now until I deliver and adopt a child.
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