"The Tie That Binds"
Through our adoption journey we have faced a lot of ups and downs. A lot of questions and issues that we didn't realize we'd be dealing with until they presented themselves. I'm sure that we will continue to face questions that will be hard to answer as Jonah grows up, but I pray for wisdom that God will give me the answers to those questions.
In the very begining of our adoption journey I struggled a lot with that biological connection that I did not have with Jonah. It's not that I didn't view him as my son, I was afraid that he wouldn't consider me his mother when he came to the understanding that we did not share the same genetics. Working in the hospital and working with a doctor who has a research lab in genetics I came to understand more about it through speaking with him. In simple terms a biological connection does not automatically make someone a parent. Biology means; the science of life or living matter in all its forms and phenomena, esp. with reference to origin, growth, reproduction, structure, and behavior. Next I looked at the meaning of genetics; the science of heredity, dealing with resemblances and differences of related organisms resulting from the interaction of their genes and the environment. Genetics and Biology do not make someone a parent once again it is actions. When my mom gave birth to me it was her actions through out my growing up that made me see her as my mother. Yes, she is my biological mother, but actions speak louder than words. My husband biological mother on the other hand abandond him to seek a life of drugs and aclohole. Does that make her a mother? No! The women in my husbands life who helped fill the gap that his bio mom left are the ones he sees as his mothers. Some of them do she a biological connection with him and others do not, but that still does not make them any less of a mother to him. Jonah and I may not share the same living matter or heredity, but we are still mother and son. I have promised God that I will do everything humanly possible to be the mother He wants me to be to my son.
The deffenition of mother is; a mother-in-law, stepmother, or adoptive mother. a term of address for a female parent or a woman having or regarded as having the status, function, or authority of a female parent. In order to fullfill the deffinition of a mother it takes actions. Not a biological conection. A very dear friend of mine from high school that had just had a baby of her own shortly after Jonah was born gave me some great encouragement through an email and completely helped change the way I was thinking about the situation. She told me that after being pregnant for nine months and going through labor for hours that it was such a distant memory. What matters is the hear and the now. It doesn't matter if I gave birth to him or not. When he looks at me he sees me as his mommy and always will. When he cries, is sick, wants to play, or is hungry he reaches out for me. Along with her words of encouragment I also got the oppertunity to talk with two cousins of mine that had been adopted through independent adoption. They told me that they have no resentment whatsoever towards their birth mothers for given them up for adoption and considered their mom, my aunt, 100% their mother. The biological connection did not matter to them. They see my aunt as their mother.
All of this new information helped me think in a new way. I started thinking about a family member of mine (not my cousins who were adopted) that has no biological connectionn to me. Since I was a baby Bill has been in my life. I didn't come to know that he had no biological connection until, I think, I was in my early teens. I have always viewed him as an uncle figure and always will. He will forever be apart of my family! I love ya Bill!!!!
Needless to say, no I do not have a biological connection to my son and never will. But, the Lord has brought us together and called him my son and me his mother. Someday I hope and pray that not only will he have the connection of mother and son, but also as brother and sister in Christ. I pray fervently that someday Jonah will accept the Lord as his Savior and then we will share a spiritual connection as well. I do not consider genetics a connection anymore. Basically all it is is living matter. It does not determine who is the parent. Jonah and I's connection goes so much more deeper than genetics. It is based on love, trust, and the act of being a family. Our connection surpases genetics and will last a life time.
In the very begining of our adoption journey I struggled a lot with that biological connection that I did not have with Jonah. It's not that I didn't view him as my son, I was afraid that he wouldn't consider me his mother when he came to the understanding that we did not share the same genetics. Working in the hospital and working with a doctor who has a research lab in genetics I came to understand more about it through speaking with him. In simple terms a biological connection does not automatically make someone a parent. Biology means; the science of life or living matter in all its forms and phenomena, esp. with reference to origin, growth, reproduction, structure, and behavior. Next I looked at the meaning of genetics; the science of heredity, dealing with resemblances and differences of related organisms resulting from the interaction of their genes and the environment. Genetics and Biology do not make someone a parent once again it is actions. When my mom gave birth to me it was her actions through out my growing up that made me see her as my mother. Yes, she is my biological mother, but actions speak louder than words. My husband biological mother on the other hand abandond him to seek a life of drugs and aclohole. Does that make her a mother? No! The women in my husbands life who helped fill the gap that his bio mom left are the ones he sees as his mothers. Some of them do she a biological connection with him and others do not, but that still does not make them any less of a mother to him. Jonah and I may not share the same living matter or heredity, but we are still mother and son. I have promised God that I will do everything humanly possible to be the mother He wants me to be to my son.
The deffenition of mother is; a mother-in-law, stepmother, or adoptive mother. a term of address for a female parent or a woman having or regarded as having the status, function, or authority of a female parent. In order to fullfill the deffinition of a mother it takes actions. Not a biological conection. A very dear friend of mine from high school that had just had a baby of her own shortly after Jonah was born gave me some great encouragement through an email and completely helped change the way I was thinking about the situation. She told me that after being pregnant for nine months and going through labor for hours that it was such a distant memory. What matters is the hear and the now. It doesn't matter if I gave birth to him or not. When he looks at me he sees me as his mommy and always will. When he cries, is sick, wants to play, or is hungry he reaches out for me. Along with her words of encouragment I also got the oppertunity to talk with two cousins of mine that had been adopted through independent adoption. They told me that they have no resentment whatsoever towards their birth mothers for given them up for adoption and considered their mom, my aunt, 100% their mother. The biological connection did not matter to them. They see my aunt as their mother.
All of this new information helped me think in a new way. I started thinking about a family member of mine (not my cousins who were adopted) that has no biological connectionn to me. Since I was a baby Bill has been in my life. I didn't come to know that he had no biological connection until, I think, I was in my early teens. I have always viewed him as an uncle figure and always will. He will forever be apart of my family! I love ya Bill!!!!
Needless to say, no I do not have a biological connection to my son and never will. But, the Lord has brought us together and called him my son and me his mother. Someday I hope and pray that not only will he have the connection of mother and son, but also as brother and sister in Christ. I pray fervently that someday Jonah will accept the Lord as his Savior and then we will share a spiritual connection as well. I do not consider genetics a connection anymore. Basically all it is is living matter. It does not determine who is the parent. Jonah and I's connection goes so much more deeper than genetics. It is based on love, trust, and the act of being a family. Our connection surpases genetics and will last a life time.
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